Highlights and lowlights of the week in my world :
🕵️♀️ I have a stomach stalker at work : this woman sat next to me is literally obsessing about my food consumption processes – from purchasing choices to ingesting. Farting has not been brought up yet (I am a lady you know?).
From questioning whether I eat at all – cue *concerned staring face, eyebrows raised to infinity and beyond * : “Do you EVER eat AT ALL? We never SEE you eat!” [GUUUUURL have you seen my ass??!] to scanning every single item of food I bring in – and when I say scanning, I mean “Terminator works in the airport” scanning, she will literally force conversations and eye contact whilst I deal with my nutrients. Every day.
👎 One of my best friends is leaving the UK for Australia : boo. I feel like forsaking leg shaving for a year, hugging her like a koala all the way down Heathrow airport, and pretending I belong to the Oz-bound flight. I ran that plan past her – she didn’t seem thrilled.
👹 There is a corporate demon in my office : I went to the loo to post on instagram [don’t judge], and by the time I closed the cubicle door and started scrolling through my photo album, I heard the most demonic flat voice since Taylor Swift coming from outside the door :
“DIE. GO FUCK YOURSELF.” Awkard silence.
“FUCK OFF“. Awkward Silence magnified by the chick in the cubicle next door expressing herself via her bottom.
“DIE. YOU CAN GO PISS OFF” … At that stage, I shot up from my uncomfortable throne [for the record I was sat on the lid with paper], actually frozen in disbelief as to what the hell was going on outside that door. Deciding to be brave
and go back to work, I opened the door.
Here was a completely expressionless woman, with her handsfree headset on, staring at herself in the mirror, and having what seemed to be the wierdest ex-orcism via iphone ever. I am not sure whether she was having the most monotonous yet psychopathic break up of the year, but she was so calm and gave zero fucks that she was in the bathroom of a corporate office – of a corporate, luxury brand – where all her female colleagues could potentially walk in.
Nothing, niet, nada. Chica was cursing and cussing on the phone as flatly as ET trying to get home.
👍 I got a new toy : the Canon M50. This camera is very light and portable, and I am hoping this will be helping me with travel and city snapping. I will be posting up some pics I took from London this weekend. Sorry, but they will include my mug 😀.
🧛♀️ I have resumed night walking in London town, as well as going to the gym. Hopefully this will help improve my sleep – and the quality of my eyebags!
Thanks for reading, I hope you have had a corporate-demon free week at work, but in any case, feel free to share your highlights below 😉