Yup. I have slacked harder than Axl Rose…Two weeks without showing up to my own gig; and I don’t even have the excuse of shagging random groupies or snorting sucrose – I don’t have groupies and I only do brown sugar.
I have been busy scrambling my way out the final episode of “Lord of the Ping” at work – whereby my Speedy Gonzales of a boss simultaneously hijacks my Whatsapp, iMessage, email and soul at 7 am in the morning for the most inane things such as ” my train is stuck between “Overpriced City” and “Prawn Town” (PING!); “”I know you are away but why aren’t you in the office?(cus I wanna police)” (PING!).
So, I spend my days reminiscing about being in Stockholm and wishing I was blogging from this cute coffin – from which I was squeezing to death in a badass corset a year ago… (this shop is so cool).
In any case, I am generally having a bad week, and I swear I am not exaggerating:
– I am having a very bad case of a blocked right ear, which wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t make me look and sound like Ozzy Osbourne after a deep dive in a pool of greasy pasta bolognese (with meatballs big enough to fit in both ears). ” Wheeeeeet?” “Eeeeeehhh???””mweeeh?”;
– I am managing to go to sleep with my make up on and yet do wake up looking like a makeupless Marilyn Manson. #Zexy #Skillz ;
– I got caught texting at work multiple times – not just any odd text; a text with THAT gif of a Minion walking buttnaked to the pool;
– My trusted sandwich machine committed toasticide and cut itself into several pieces (Papa Roach’s influence goes across species);
– I am so tired, the only cooking I manage to do is of the UberEats variety, which comes in a big bun and with chilli sauce (both of which destroying my gluten free goth stomach).
Ugh, I better get back to work, because getting caught posting about a coffin and Speedy Gonzales could possibly make this week worse …. 😉